In therapy we agreed to start the separation processing leading to divorce. We were both fairly amicable on it. We each still care for each other, want each other to do well, but are just on different paths in life and are structurally incompatible.
The biggest and only contention so far is she wants full custody and will give me “unrestricted visitation.” But 50/50 is the default in this state and she can’t prove I’m incapable, dangerous or delinquent in being a father. She still wants to fight for it. She brought up my depression, but that’s not a valid reason to disqualify me as a father. But it’s the legal narrative she will use. But it’s not about what she wants or what I want. It’s what is best for the kids. Having an involved mother and father is what is best for them.
A long time coming, perhaps 15 years or so. But it’s done. Unlike the previous 2 times, I have no feeling of hesitation or fear of the unknown future. I’ve done some planning, prepared, and while there is the unknown future, I know I’ll survive and be okay. There’s no reason to clutch to the devil I know this time. (I’m not calling her a devil, honest.)
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