We both expected mediation to fail. I wanted 50/50 – one week with me, one week with her (7-7). She wanted 80/20, where I get every Friday night and she has the rest.
The mediator separated us into different Zoom rooms after 20 minutes and bounced back and forth. In the end, we have a verbal agreement for 50/50 but a 3-4 schedule. I’ll have them Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday nights. She has them Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. Saturday nights we swap every week. So one week I’d have them 3 nights, the next 4.
I “won.”
So, I “won.” I got my 50/50, and only gave up on the schedule and a ramp up schedule she wanted. As the mediator (a lawyer) suggested, I get my 50/50 and avoid court and dragging this out. It’s only a few weeks difference and a few nights over those. So not much worth losing over.
We need to meet with the mediator to establish a few other final details. But I’m truly impressed she was able to change my spouse’s mind. If I had that skill, maybe we’d still be together. I think she started telling her the risk of going to court asking for 80/20, and that there really isn’t a justifiable reason to ask for that.
We’re supposed to decide the plan on the best interests of the child. Not doing 7-7 so she doesn’t miss the kids for a week at a time is for her, but it’s also for the kids. Maybe it’s the best plan? We can reevaluate after we try it out for awhile.
But this is the final, permanent, plan. No temporary and then renegotiate the final. We’re done. This is a huge relief (and win?) for me. We stop dragging out the process and can complete the divorce in August, perhaps. I was worried this could drag on through the entire year.
Aside from some details, it’s good to have some resolutions. The world knows. Custody framework in place with most of my goals. I can stop worrying about pending problems and focus on just completing other tasks.
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