After being able to process this for a bit, I felt honored and closer to her than I have in a long time that she felt comfortable enough or safe enough to confide in me something that she is, how she really feels, and not be afraid of repercussions or whatnot. It sounds counterintuitive really, since she’s basically said “stay away” but now I feel closer to her. We did snuggle for a few minutes last night. So…. there’s that at least. I told her this too. She’s the one that came up with the “safe” term.
I also now feel better than ever that coming out to her won’t be problematic and it will be successful (read: not divorce). I just have to hope that she’ll let me open the marriage so I can satisfy my urges and desires. But cross one bridge at a time. We crossed one yesterday. We had a breakthrough.
One thing I read recently: You can’t stop desire, it’s who you are. You can control your actions.
So, I feel relieved. I know the situation. I’m not stuck in limbo and there’s been progress — a step forward — finally. I could see the whole drama being all over in 2 weeks.
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