I just had another hour conversation with her.
She agreed or accepted that she’s asexual. She just doesn’t need sex. I said I understand and accept her. I have to figure out how to live with it.
I don’t know what this means. I expect less sex now. I said it’d be fine to get some make out time and then no sex later. She said that’s helpful. Maybe we figure out other non-penetrative sex options.
It’s not the life I expected, but the life I have.
Short update, but I didn’t want to batch it up for a month again.
Ok sounds like she has opened up to you about not needing it , Did she ask you what you want ? Is she giving you options or are you trying to compromise? I’m sure it’s a very scary place to be just bringing it up with her but it’s great that you’re trying. And very commendable that your sharing. It’s good to get things off your chest sometimes.
B
She didn’t ask what I want. No options for now. I said let’s change our deal to me asking all the time (and getting rejected 95% of the time) to her initiate when she wants. And tell me ahead of time (like Noon) if possible. I expect like twice a year now.
oh man, that’s a tough one. Is that a treatable psychological condition that she realizes affects you or is it like a sexual orientation issue that also affects you? If everything else in the relationship is good, Is she willing to let you go elsewhere for your needs? I wonder how those guys with 2 wives and families make it work. I can see some benefits. And of course married bi guys juggle 2 aspects of orientation. I’m thinking about you.
It’s not “treatable.” It’s not a disease or defect or something to solve. It’s a sexual orientation. It’s no different than if she had said she was homosexual or bisexual or heterosexual.
We’re working on the rest of things. We don’t fight and get along, there is just no intimacy. We don’t communicate super well. So, we’re trying to find all that again.
I dunno about the rest. I didn’t want to push things too far today. There’s no hurry.
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