After being able to process this for a bit, I felt honored and closer to her than I have in a long time that she felt comfortable enough or safe enough to confide in me something that she is, how she really feels, and not be afraid of repercussions or whatnot. It sounds counterintuitive really, since she’s basically said “stay away” but now I feel closer to her. We did snuggle for a few minutes last night. So…. there’s that at least. I told her this too. She’s the one that came up with the “safe” term.
I also now feel better than ever that coming out to her won’t be problematic and it will be successful (read: not divorce). I just have to hope that she’ll let me open the marriage so I can satisfy my urges and desires. But cross one bridge at a time. We crossed one yesterday. We had a breakthrough.
One thing I read recently: You can’t stop desire, it’s who you are. You can control your actions.
So, I feel relieved. I know the situation. I’m not stuck in limbo and there’s been progress — a step forward — finally. I could see the whole drama being all over in 2 weeks.
Good luck to you buddy. I hope everything works out well for you both.
that sounds hopeful. Being able to talk with respect and understanding is a wonderful foundation for partnership. You’re in my thoughts.
also you know her better than anyone else so you are really the only one who knows how she may react. I’ve been thinking about this all day and I just want you to be careful. I’m not trying to make you second guess your decisions but something’s can’t be taken back after they’ve been said and I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I didn’t tell you to be careful with it. I hope this works for you and you can find happiness for the whole you and not just some parts. You deserve to be happy. It’s always better to try than to just wonder how it would have turned out.
B
It went well. https://biotterdad.wordpress.com/2024/02/21/im-bisexual-coming-out/