No and current plans are to keep it that way.
I’m not sure how she will react, and my research gives a 16% chance of the marriage continuing past a few years, 66% likely to end within 1 year.
Conservative estimates indicate that roughly two million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals in the United States have married someone of the opposite sex. When these partners come out of the closet, one-third of these relationships break up right away, a third stay together for a year and then separate, and another third commit to making it work–although three years later, only half of this last group of relationships are still intact.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/when-a-spouse-comes-out-o_b_830214
67% of females would leave their partners if the latter would like to have an open relationship.
https://comparecamp.com/open-marriage-statistics/
The only reason I would come out would be to get permission to see guys. That seems to be a lower likelihood than marriage ending altogether, and more likely to cause divorce.
So, chatting with guys online is my limit. I have to accept that limit and be fine with that, or something has to change. I can change my line, which feels wrong. I can come out, which feels disastrous. Or be stuck in limbo until I’m willing to accept divorce as a consequence.
Keeping the appearance up for the sake of the kids seems what’s best for them. But is a loveless marriage a good example for them? Maybe, if we remain civil and can fake it enough to not have an impact.
Fear. Confusion. Uncertainty. Worry. Anxiety.
The worst feeling is being in limbo with no control over the resolution. I can’t solve the problem. There is no “just do this and you’ll have your answer.” So the mental grief has been building in the last few weeks. I’m okay most times, but there’s been a few nights that it’s overwhelming and I shut down.
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